so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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