i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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