It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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