I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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