Your tits are I can't wait for
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
