sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
it was like eating out sand paper
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
