dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I want to fling myself into the sun
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize