So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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