aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just high enough for therapy.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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