You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize