I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
