I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
