you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
