I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
