He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
