belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can text with my tongue
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
