Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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