Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
