took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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