i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
