p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
