why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize