I think my vagina is haunted
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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