I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
