so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
