well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
