How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
