Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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