We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
