There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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