What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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