The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
