Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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