i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
