get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
