bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
