He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize