Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
