who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We were destined to go to rehab together
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
