I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
