Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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