I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
