"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
