Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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