hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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