you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
id be glad to
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
