Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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