jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
