you win again, gameday.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
