Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's blow job season.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
