Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
