thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
No subtext here. People are naked.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
