You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize