how can u be prego again
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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