I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
