In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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