I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
