You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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