The maid of honor just puked.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
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